CURRENTS THROUGH USELESS BAY

When I started meditation practice, my blame-stories very slowly (and with quite a struggle) began to fall apart, as if written on ancient parchment that disintegrated as it was opened and became exposed.

“When we express our true nature, we are human beings. When we do not, we do not know what we are.” Shunryu Suzuki, Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind
This morning I awakened with a gripping sense of insecurity. I’m familiar with this fear–it’s an old companion, and one I don’t always welcome. Friends [...]

My inbox this morning was acrimoniously stirred with posts on a thread from Zenhabits.net that again opened the controversy of Leo Babauta’s use of the word Zen in his blog title. I know why these posts happen. People are tired of seeing great pieces of art, deep and meaningful religious experiences, and unquantifiable [...]

“A well-based self-reliance…is usually the product of slow and unchecked growth from infancy into maturity during which, through interaction with trustworthy and encouraging others, a person learns how to combine trust in others with trust in himself.” John Bowlby, The Making and Breaking of Affectional Bonds
“Oliver cried lustily. If he could have known [...]

When I hear the word, “detachment,” lonely images are conjured, such as an astronaut in dark space, in umbilical disconnection, floating helplessly out into the suffocating depths. Evoking images of distancing, of impossible self-reliance, and of a state of withdrawn and disconnected contemplation, detachment seems to have little relation to the messy interconnections in which [...]

“Intimate attachments to other human beings are the hub around which a person’s life revolves, not only when he is an infant or a toddler or a schoolchild but throughout his adolescence and his years of maturity as well, and into old age.” John Bowlby
Next to me at the coffee shop where I am sipping [...]

I see a lot of couples in counseling. This is the most difficult work that I do, especially if there are years of built up resentments and unresolved issues. I also hear that many counselors dislike working with couples because of this–because it is so very hard to sit with this sort of [...]

What does Meditation have to do with Counseling?
In a recent study cited in Psychotherapy Networker, it was found that therapists who had meditated for nine-weeks prior to having their clients evaluated had better client-outcomes: “The patients of the meditating therapists scored significantly higher than the control group on almost every measure of global functioning, [...]

Great question. After all, what do you have to look forward to in a counseling session? Pain? Delving into old memories, trauma, dredging up disappointments and failures?
Well, not always. The style of counseling I do involves learning how to relate and connect, no matter the subject of discussion. What transpires between us is the tissue [...]